Independent? Judicious? He doesn’t sound very independent, judicious or even remotely credible.

The testimony of Bret Kavanaugh sounds exactly like the rants I endured on the phone for weeks after I was sexually assaulted at 14. This person is self-righteous, defensive, angry and full of hubris. If you want to confuse and control your victim and those who would support him/her, attack with blind indignation. It’s almost exactly the same tone and rationale I heard from Dr. Gustavo Fernandez, a respected Dr. of Radiology, who changed my life forever. After grooming me for weeks, eventually sexually assaulting me, and calling me every night for weeks after, threatening me, my family, even the well being of the world, if I turned him in.

It is uncanny how much BK reminds me of the doctor who assaulted me. If he is innocent, just be innocent. He is like a rabid animal, lashing out; the guilt is pouring out of him, caught with his hand in the candy jar. He was completely unhinged, which should have immediately disqualified him for high office, particularly a Supreme Court Justice.  He exhibited the behaviors of a Borderline/Narcissist, similar to the man who nominated him. His behavior is arrested, not measured, objective or balanced, as one might expect a serious supreme court nominee to be. I have heard this voice before and I will never forget it. I know many others have heard this same petulant, entitled bluster. It is the voice of a delusional, infantile perpetrator; it is the voice of evil. Yes, this is my impression of what I’m hearing. It is a gut feeling and a cry from deep in my soul, influenced by my unique life trajectory.

Methinks he doth protest too much.

He is trying hard to sound like the victim and to be honest, I have no doubt he was/is a victim, as perpetrators often are. Just not in this particular scenario. With the 15 year old Ford, he was only a perpetrator. Kavanaugh’s strategy is called DARVO, short for “Deny. Attack. Reverse victim and offender.” The term was coined by Jennifer Freyd, a psychologist at the University of Oregon.

But the pain driving his testimony doesn’t come out of nowhere. It is embedded deep in the human consciousness. And my response to it is not political. Because DARVO is not a partisan issue. It is a battle between decent, rule of law (judicial process supporting), anti-bullying, anti-rape, anti-abuse, compassionate humans against pig monsters who only care about doing whatever the hell they want without consequences or a moral compass as a guide because they believe they are entitled to it. He is a product of a deep patriarchal culture. Boys in our time were expected to pursue, to push. But even boys at their worst, knew never to take it the level BK purportedly took it. Tragically, it is this same cultural entitled, bullying, that uses fear and intimidation to fuel political discourse. We cannot accept this as the new normal. This underlying driving force behind this phenomenon is bigger than any one of us or our various political agendas. Our very existence is being threatened by this nominee, but he is only the symptom of a much deeper problem. So, again we are faced with another opportunity where we must take a stand and call a foul when we see it.

So, Father forgive this man, forgive all of us, as we all fall short. We lost our innocence long before today. Lord God, we beg you for restoration and thank you for loving us, despite our inevitable failings.


More on nomination hearings – Jeff Flakes out.

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