Joe Maniscalco in his studio

Losing one’s father is a sad moment in anyone’s life, no doubt. But it is also a necessary and meaningful milestone. Even as we honor and acknowledge how much our fathers have done for us to make us the individuals we have become, we need to put in perspective the passage from son to father this transition represents.

For me, shedding the last bastion of my father’s sphere of influence is a cause for celebration. I can both mourn his loss and rejoice in my own independence. There is a sublime freedom in finally losing our fathers. The process actually begins in our teens in the form of rebellion and evolves into independence and if we’re lucky, a kind of interdependence. Fortunately my father lived long enough for this transition to occur gradually, allowing he and I to develop a deep and trusting relationship as adults and colleagues.

When he passed away at age 85, almost twenty years ago, I was not sad, I was happy for the life he lived and the relationship we had built. Sure I miss the phone calls, the security of knowing he was there. But we were ready, as ready as anyone can be ready for the unknowable.

My faith tells me we will be together one day in a vast and unimaginable way. So I am at peace. And in some crazy indirect way, perhaps he gave me that as well. So, today I thank my father, for making the way for my independence.