“Birthday” 72 x 60″ acrylic on canvas

How Birthday came to be

It was a glorious day, filled with discovery and serious sharing. It is a story some may find disturbing. They don’t matter. “Birthday” was an idea that had been in Nick’s mind for years. But he didn’t have the ability to paint certain aspects that he wanted to include. He has limited control of his left foot. But nothing comes out the way his ego intends. Nick has my painting of Cassandra and admired my ability for imaginary realism. When he approached me about a collaboration, I was overjoyed and a little puzzled. His abstract expressionist work is off the charts. What could I possibly add? And I had never seriously collaborated with anyone on a painting, even though as an actor, collaboration is natural. Painting is normally a one-man band operation. But this wasn’t just any normal collaboration. We didn’t need each other, we wanted it. For me, that’s because Nick does something no artist alive or dead can do. For “Birthday,” and virtually all his work, his ego is completely removed from the equation. That makes Nick a genius in my mind. His latest exhibition at Public Works just came down. And believe me, it was epic, in case you missed it.

Birthday in progress

Nick has a vision for what he wants and accepts his limitations in being able to get it down on canvas. He has Cerebral Palsy. As limiting as this might be in doing daily activities, as a painter, it is gold. I’ve written about the unselfconscious line before. The ability to remove the ego completely from the process has eluded artists for more than a century. The ability to get out of the way, to throw caution to the wind, to let the paint speak. His left foot has the most control. But his strokes of Birthday are impulsive, filled with energy, drama and urgency.

These were only the dreams of Pollack and Picasso. The ego decides; it edits the lines that decide where to drop the paint. The hand of the ego is always present in these more “accomplished” artists.  Nick understands this about himself and instead of beating himself up about it, he embraces it. In fact, he relishes in the imperfect marks he makes. So, do I. I treaded lightly, trying not to negate his strokes but use them to propel my portions of the painting. I wanted to be just another tool in his paint box. I fought my own desire to fix or finish my strokes. I asked myself, what would Nick do if he had my abilities? The realistic imagery is loosely rendered. I painted an eye with the twirl of the brush, instead of carefully constructing it, as I might ordinarily do. I wanted to get my ego out of the way, but of course it is always there for me, the moment I decide to put paint to canvas. I just tried as best I could to minimize it. In short, I wanted the result to appear as if it were the vision of one person.

Working on Birthday was truly exhilarating for me. I’m not always the best listener and this tested my limits. The challenge was to get as close to his vision as possible. I gently guided him to each area he wanted to paint. But Nick was the director and I did as I was told. He chose the colors and blocked the scene. I cleared any ideas I had with him before I lifted a brush. Sometimes I did not understand what he was saying, but his mom was nearby to interpret as needed. Patti is an amazing mom! The visual realm is a very nuanced language. The original concept came from a description he typed out. I laid the items out in a thumbnail sketch exactly as he described, making sure we were on the same page. Then we went to work.

Here’s the story of the painting: The adult Nick is stuck inside a burning planet Earth, from which a road leads to heaven’s gates. He is not permitted to enter yet. Instead, he becomes a gray baby choking on his umbilical cord. On the right of the composition are castle towers, silos, each holding a damsel to taunt him. He cannot save and have them. I don’t agree with the story, but this is his version of his creation story, his “birthday.” This is about what he wanted to say. Or maybe it does. But it does not reflect who he has become. Nor does it limit what the viewer might interpret, looking at the massive Birthday.  Nick embraces his predicament completely. He doesn’t pretend it isn’t there in the name of “positivity,” which is a lie. Nick deals in the realm of truth. That is why I truly admire him. He is one of the bravest, most exuberant and loving souls I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

We are hoping to include the painting in upcoming exhibits at Public Works and elsewhere. He does not want to sell it, but anyone can be bought for the right price.

Enjoy this very short short on the process.